


Not going back.

by Crimson_Waterfalls



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, Cutting, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 04:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimson_Waterfalls/pseuds/Crimson_Waterfalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his fourth year, Harry can no longer take it. He makes a decision: he will not go back to the Dursleys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not going back.

**_Lonely:_ **

**_remote from places of human habitation, desolate, unfrequented, bleak._ **

****

_“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”_

Harry sighed, looking at the starry night and desperately wishing he could join the stars shining bright.

_‘Soon,’_ He told himself, looking down at his lap, where a silver knife lay shining in the moonlight. He picked it up in his right hand and rolled up his sleeve. The wind threatened to topple him over and push him off the AstronomyTower, but he held on, stronger than ever.

‘’One for everyone who never tried to help me,’’ He said out loud, making a clear, deep cut into his arm.

_‘’Mrs. Collins?’’ Bright green eyes stared at the elderly woman with tears shining in his eyes. The woman looked at the boy and sneered._

_‘’What do you want?’’_

_‘’Mrs. Collins, you have to help me, change my mark to something lower than Dudley’s, please!’’ he held out a piece of paper with a bright blue A on it, and bit his lip._

_‘’Why would I do that?’’ She may not like the boy, but even she had to admit the boy was smart._

_Harry looked down. ‘’Because my Uncle hurts me when I get a higher mark than Dudley.’’_

_‘’Don’t be ridiculous, boy!’’ she snapped. ‘’Now get out of my classroom!’’_

He took a deep, shuddering breath as blood welled up in the wound, relishing in the sweet, merciless pain.

‘’And one for everyone who did,’’ He continued, making another deep cut.

_The teacher knelt besides him, her long, red hair falling over her face. She trailed her long fingers over a bruise on the side of his face._

_‘’What happened, Harry?’’ There was an angry tone to her voice, but Harry somehow knew the anger wasn’t focused at him._

_‘’Nothing, miss. Monica.’’ He said, looking down to hide his pain._

_‘’It’s okay Harry, you can trust me.’’ He voice was softer now, and when he looked up she was smiling, even though it was strained._

_Harry poured his heart out, telling every detail, of how he had to do all the chores, of how he slept in the cupboard under the stairs, of how his family hit him when he did something wrong … everything he told her._

_The next day she was fired._

A small gasp escaped him at the sharp pain and a grin formed on his face. He switched the knife to his left hand. It was a bit difficult to hold the knife in his bloodied hand, but he made it work.

‘’One for everyone who ever abandoned me,’’ He muttered, feeling dizzy. The cut wasn’t as deep, but it worked.

_Harry walked towards the boys from his class, smiling shyly. They grinned at each other before looking back at him._

_‘’You wanna join?’’ one of them asked him, and his eyes grew wide as he nodded. ‘’Come on, then. Close your eyes and count to ten.’’_

_He did so, and when he turned around, they were all running from him, laughing. He suddenly realized he had no idea where they were._

‘’And one for everyone who accepted me.’’ The next cut was shallow, and he frowned and did it again, smiling as blood poured onto the floor. He was shaky now.

_The two boys – one with black hair and green eyes, one with blond hair and blue eyes – smiled at each other shyly, before shaking hands._

_‘’I’m Harry,’’ He introduced himself softly. The blond smiled at him._

_‘’I’m Danny.’’_

_They played the entire afternoon, telling stories, running around. For once, Harry felt like a boy, and he didn’t care that he would get punished for not doing his chores._

_Danny’s family moved the very same week._

He let go of the railing, falling face-forward onto the floor, in a puddle of his own blood. The knife fell from his hand, and as he lay there, blood seeping from his arms, he smiled.

He was not going back to the Dursleys.


End file.
